In My Hands

Blogging is one way to get attention. Subtle attention seeking ooo.. Okay, I think I’m getting some whatchamacallit attention. But I’m not sure cos friendster’s always lagging in who’s seen your profile including a variation of questions such as err when someone reads your blog does it register in who’s visited your profile? No? Reading this post is a complete waste of time Thanx for dropping by. Freedom of speech. It’s obvious. "………"

I have morphed into a feline. A lionness with a cotton candy textured mane. Rain on me and I’ll flee before my strains of fluff loses shape becoming flat. It would’ve been an afro do if the hair stylist were to have done smaller curls for me. And when I see my own reflection in any mirror at all, I see somebody else but me. My friends didn’t recognise me too.

At this stage of my life, I’m getting influenced by the new look. Gnarly, prowling among reading material scattered everywhere in my den. Fearless I say! More like jaded with come what mays within the ambit of occurings. Experience, the dearest expenses we pay in the currency of induced negative emotions. What’s hilarious was that yesterday I tried out some online tarot card reading after getting good feedback from friends who tried it out. Over all comments- "Intimidatingly accurate." Hmm, I didn’t type out my name or an e-mail address. My readings summed up my current situation except the part where it said I wanetd to move home but I’ll be facing setbacks and that creative energy is high if I’m considering to start a family, new job or artistic endeavor soon. Artistic endeavor? Perhaps begin writing the ‘at least one book’ from Sam kinda thing? LOL.

Questions which intrigued me were,"Are you looking to move onwards and upwards or run away? Look before you leap. You wouldn’t want to appear the fool do you?"

I’ve always thought that not knowing what I’ve put myself into would mean that I might’ve not appreciated the risk of danger even if I had stopped to think about its highly probable results. To be ignorant about such recklessness could make me no different from a schizophrenic patient whose disorder that had deprived one of his or her normal capacity to weigh and foresee risks (See: R v Stephenson (1979)). In my eyes it’s of natural consequence to be obesessing about lies and insecurity presuming how likely of its prominence in my life. Instincts save me. Prayers guide me. God please hear me.

The cards mentioned that now is a time for me to learn of patience for I am uncertain of what decisions to make of any key issue. Supposedly I got to take my time and by then I’ll know what’s right. So it is a fact well known that I’m impatient. Impatient people are often selfish. Not surprised with the scorn that I get. Patience is a virtue, indeed. Tolerance is something else. 

pa·tience    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (pshns)
n.

1. The capacity, quality, or fact of being patient.
2. Chiefly British. The game solitaire.

Synonyms: patience, long-suffering, resignation, forbearance
These nouns denote the capacity to endure hardship, difficulty, or inconvenience without complaint. Patience emphasizes calmness, self-control, and the willingness or ability to tolerate delay: Our patience will achieve more than our force (Edmund Burke). Long-suffering is long and patient endurance, as of wrong or provocation: The general, a man not known for docility and long-suffering, flew into a rage. Resignation implies acceptance of or submission to something trying, as out of despair or necessity: I undertook the job with an air of resignation. Forbearance denotes restraint, as in retaliating, demanding what is due, or voicing disapproval: “It is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian forbearance, love, and charity towards each other” (Patrick Henry).

tol·er·ance    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (tlr-ns)
n.

1. The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others.
2. 1. Leeway for variation from a standard.
   2. The permissible deviation from a specified value of a structural dimension, often expressed as a percent.
3. The capacity to endure hardship or pain.
4. Medicine.
   1. Physiological resistance to a poison.
   2. The capacity to absorb a drug continuously or in large doses without adverse effect; diminution in the response to a drug after prolonged use.
5. 1. Acceptance of a tissue graft or transplant without immunological rejection.
   2. Unresponsiveness to an antigen that normally produces an immunological reaction.
6. The ability of an organism to resist or survive infection by a parasitic or pathogenic organism.

It’s about 10pm. Exam’s up soon =( Till later. In Ferhad’s song called ‘Pernah’ he sang,"Pengalaman mengajarku jangan mudah meluahkan isi hatiku…" That’s good advice.

My in thing.. Brand new world by Juwita Suwito. Guitar strums and that.. that voice. Listen to Only In the Dark at www.MusicCanteen.com by clicking Charts and then scroll down that top 40’s chart. Sth I’ve just discovered Here’s a short caption of Why oh Why lyrics by Juwita herself.

Why oh why

The moments I can’t pretend

The sorrys I should have said

The thought of you being in despair

Tears my heart out right away

I just wasn’t prepared

Imperfection that’s what I am

Confusion just to get sad

I guess that I shouldn’t pretend to love you anyway

I won’t give up again

So tell me

Why oh Why

Should there be a reason to love

Why oh Why

I don’t need another

I don’t want nothing else but being with you

And with you I know why…"

Find out what I’m talking about hey

There’s a new movie coming up called.. My Super Ex Girlfriend starring Uma Thurman and Luke Wilson, in theaters on July 21st 06. She seriously reminds me of me. Everyone in that show calls her a nutcase =p

The Trailer can be found at RelationshipRevenge.com where you can also browse around then choose your opted(correction, preferred. bad English argh) language before you proceed with a little.. Hate without harm, Avoid Jail and Forgive through cyber-violence according to the page. LOL.. But of course, read the CliCk EnTeR page from head to toe before starting. A link of the movie My Super Ex Girlfriend is right above the link.. Home, which is at the toppest of that same page.

p/s: Quoted from the site -

Don’t break up.

and play out your break-up fantasies.

LOL! Have fun peeps…