Picture 1. Beautiful distortion captured.
Picture 2. Moi side profile is flat. Jo you win in this one b*tch.
Picture 3. Another ordinary day.
Picture 4. It’s the tree that I’m showing off. No hoo haa there about the person.
Picture 5. HUMPS at Mojo.
Picture 6. Our new boyfriend. The goth vampire from Durbai. MOE. We met and broke up at Mojo. On the same night. As in us 3. -Fin-
4 keys with me. Take the 1st and I might give you the 2nd. Can you handle the 3rd? Attempts were made to make the final pursuit which is the greatest.
The manual to ‘My Keys’
1. Take key 1 only within your free will. Know where you stand and if you’re comfortable, by all means proceed with key 2 or else return key 1 immedietly.
2. More than comfort requires of you to obtain key 3. The challenge of reaching level 3 is tempting but risky. Within one’s capable standards, excluding the inevitable is to minimise risk by building security in knowing yourself well enough- Expect reasonableness of yourself and those dear to you. The meaning carries variant ways of how you’d treat others as how you’d want them to treat you.
3. Acquiring the 2nd last key, having travelled far it is difficult to turn around. Again, evaluate but this time truthfully for you ought to be ready to admit and speak up only to conclude a compromise. Wherever the keys take you, they’ll take me to the same page too.
4. Key 4 is the cue for you (or readers) and me (or readers) to try consider if we would have rather gone through similar stages where the keys have brought us but with different partners other than ourselves or actually appreciative of each other. For this to happen sometimes, one has to know what is bad to understand what are the attributes that are best appreciated at the end of the day.
Metaphoric Review
Key 1: First impression.
Key 2: Am I really what you think I am? Don’t get me wrong.
Key 3: Love is unconditional. I love yous don’t mean a thing if you don’t understand or be ignorant regarding what unconditional is. Save it for later if uncertainty is in the way. Time reveals.
Key 4: Forever. Sometimes being a gentleman or a ‘yes gal’ doesn’t make one a better person. Forever is the interval theory of a series predetermined by make ups and break ups, persevered by how truthful one can be to him or herself cos only then that person can fully be truthful to another person.
Hitched? You read that word right. Samantha hitched. No babies. Cos I ain’t no bubblegum machine. As in, you know roll in the coins then pop! Pretty colorful spheres of joy tumbling down down down.
When? Umm, at least 20 years before menopause. You know I’m actually wondering whose attention have I captured by even posting the title alone. LOL. Well if I really do tie the knot at 40 I’d get guys who prolly have strange unsolved issues of why are they still frickin single, divorcees, extreme divorces/murderors, ex convicts, transsexuals perhaps? horn dog bachelors who are trying their best to settle down, widowers or gay turned straight or a gay impersonating a heterosexual cos he’s under heaps of pressure from society. Now now, tough isn’t it.
If Jo’s turning gay, then maybe I might consider a different kind of life. You know what I mean 
I can’t think of anyone else who deserves me. SERIOUSLY.
Thanks for dropping by to even check this out. Curiousity did kill the cat. Say "meow" out loud and make it the last time you say that. I’d appreciate it.
Jo and I shared almost 2 bottles of wine last night. Our plan was to prolly get drunk and dance our asses off. I never got drunk before and I still didn’t. What’s wrong with me. We managed to get ourselves flying high but that’s just about it =(
I felt so happy even while I was sleeping. We took some photos even. The before and after sequence lol. I think I prolly make a potential alcoholic and this I say is for future reference. We made a couple of phone calls around 2 am. Only 1 person answered. I slept at 2 am woke at 8am. Went out to appreciate the least of haziness there is after yesterday’s downpour.
Why am I included in the category of.. "if you don’t go I won’t miss you?" I’m talking… about the haze dammit. Fresh air’s been circulating all around before a current period like now and I’ve realised that I could’ve done more of going to the park, move around a little and take my sister to fill up the swing.
Being high or on the borderline of intoxication, I love the feeling of self inducing mental and physical impairment. Chemicals babey.. it stirred up one of the best feelings in the world that I’d get to have while embracing singledom. It made me notice how brilliant God is to have designed me. I questioned myself before I called it a day,"What is wrong with you? Of all things to do, you tell everyone that you’ve stopped dating and that you assume that you’ve found your one a abla bla bla time will tell."
Each day I’d drown myself with brooding wanting to kickstart my life by working. In general, finishing my studies is still the utmost priority before I get to that stage. Again, I’m appreciating my time in Kuching before 2008. Cos it’ll be a 180 degree change of lifestyle and pathways definitely by then. Just 2 more Christmases and maybe 2 more New Years.
It’s as if I’m underwater holding my breath having the strong need to surface.
I need to fastforward to the day of my graduation and be adjugded for my work, who I am then because who I am before wouldn’t matter. And who I am now is still the person shadowed by my dad’s presence.
Love.. With all the wholesome reasons that I have to give for doing what I am and what I’m willing to, I sometimes fail to surpass emotions. It’s rare to like someone more after getting to know them better. Sure it does humour a lot of people but where did all the good ones go?
I long for… the future. Cos there’s where I’ll have what I’ve always wanted. Chances to take, the wiser me.
Monday / 14th August 2006 : Criminal Paper | LARGER THAN JUPITER
0640 Wake
0715 Take last glimpses
0806 On the road
No breakfast. Mentos all the way. Water water water. (This ain’t no advert)
0830 Glimpses(finale)
0920 Hellbent memory wrecking begins
1120 Over and done with paper I. Lunch time.
1420 Hellbent memory wrecking in demand once more
1620 Adrenaline rush cooled
I had no sleep. Tried. Couldn’t. Dinner. Midnight latte with Jo. Home.
I watched a movie. I forgot the title though, it was showing on Sunday night. Watched it on the telly while taking a break. A supposedly famous broadway director who was dying of cancer told actors under him that words said should come from the heart and not spoken from other people’s mouths. Maybe that’s the secret to script writing? The personal touch…
What I feel for you is larger than Jupiter
Within me these feelings reside
The slightest rupture
Crumbles Larger than Jupiter
If these feelings die
I gotta take it out of me
Before it crumbles and kills me
When I thought you subjected Larger than Jupiter
To forgo euthanasia my heart was set ablaze
Internal arson conspired by your commission
Charged for alleged treason I contend
Should this be true
Make known your intent beforehand
As glimmering Larger than Jupiter
Becomes a cluster aglow
Of the constellation of stars
A wonder had not ceased arrousing
Aimless marvelling above your head
Far and beyond
But don’t forget the galaxy of constellations
All around with and for you
Creating Larger than Jupiter
That lives in me
Went for another hair cut the day before yesterday. No more mane but you’d see an asian.. Peyton from One Tree Hill. Something more or less It’s amazing how those old dyed areas are trimmed off. I’ll have new pictures taken and uploaded soon. The decision to have it layered and get a side fringe was the best decision I’ve ever made in like.. these few months. LOL, cos that was what The Hair Shop’s hairstylist Diana told me to do in the first place. I’ve learnt to truly appreciate my original hair color, preserving its natural texture. Getting used to it and after watching the World Premiere of Public Affair video by Jessica Simpson, wow I guess curls are totally in. It so happens to be my favorite girlish.. blonde whatever you guys call it.. song. Did you know that it the song itself isn’t a cover version although it had pretty much that 80’s feel to it. Not sure about who wrote it but if you guys are a fan of John Mayer’s music, you’d have to know that Richard Marx wrote most of his songs for him.
Alrite. Exams are up soon. At the earlier part of the day, I circled around the neighbourhood. Even had a go on the swing before kids or joggers came by the park. Cos I am after all 20, my ass couldn’t even fit the swing right. Guess a person overlapped the chains of the swing so that I’d be heightened in such a way that I could swing without dragging my feet on the soil.
Ouch my feet really hurt. I found myself involved in building a Youth gathering sort after Dave came to pick me up. I happen to be in charge of.. Hospitality apparently. El gave reasons such as.. You bake well. See, she ate some cookies I brought to class once and she thought it was more than the umm edible standard. Feel free to join me, Dave, his family, El, Merv and a few more others yet to come. There’ll be barbeques, cool guitar music for those who appreciate accoutics of course and surprises you’re yet to discover. Do leave me messages if you’re interested cos we’ll need as much support as possible since we’ve only started like.. today really. LOL.
I wanna go beach bumming after the exams. I’ll be done after the 23rd sadly. No more cash to splurge. Boo hoo. No matter what, I need to take photos. Again. In love with life. Creativity. Colors. People. Passion. Dave’s thinks that I should’ve been making my way to become a movie producer. I want that. The lowest budgetted local movie I’ve ever heard about was at the expense of 100k ++. And where do I get that? I might have to take up mass communication sooner or later. But how does that fit with law? Destiny + Will = steers wheel of fate. If only I had chances to try out what I think I might really like. Mmm..
